A little over a month ago I was packing a moving truck in North Dakota and making my way to Idaho. Since then I have made two trips to Colorado, had packed a second truck, gotten one daughter in to school, one daughter into an apartment, one daughter moved to Connecticut, serviced two vehicles, had two rooms built in my new home and painted my living room. Whew!!

Yesterday around 2 p.m. while driving home from Colorado, where my husband works, I got a severe migraine and began to vomit for 3 hours while still trying to get home. Once home I went straight to bed and slept for an hour. When I awoke I felt light headed and sore. As the hour continued, my chest began to hurt, my arms went numb and I feared I was going to black out. 911 was called and all services were aimed at me not having a heart attack.

The conclusion to the evening was that I had totally exhausted my body to the point where it felt it had to fake a heart attack to get my attention so I would slow down and take care of myself. Makes sense as I look at it this morning. Last night however, I watched my 13 year old daughter, watching her mother die.

This thought was heightened since I have been preparing a will (assets + children = will). My daughter and I talked about the fact that she would have to return to her biological father since she has not been officially adopted my her nurturing father (note to self: Get It Done!!). We talked about her knowing I loved her.

The children were called to the house and hospital as false blood pressure readings indicated stroke conditions. I have a son about ready to serve the Lord in the Mission Field and my thoughts were for him not to come home if I should die while he was out, but the need to say good-bye cannot be taken from him. I realized he would be haunted by it for the rest of his life as I have been for 18 years with my own mother's death.

My husband sounded the alarm as he jumped into the car and started driving to Idaho. My father in turn called my siblings who remained on high alert until this morning. One of our siblings died at the age of 33 and I nearly died six years ago from a head on collision. Death is a very real thing with our young family. My brother in Iraq called my husband wondering if flight arrangements should be considered.

Though all things turned out to be benign, the reality of death had been real. My "near death experience" last night, left me again knowing there would be few regrets left behind. The desire to finish raising my daughter was strong. The support from new friends a neighbors could not be denied. They are counted as a great blessing from the Lord. Adjustments need to be made in my life to make sure this does not happen again. I need to slow down. I can run myself into the ground literally if I am not careful.

Boxes can be unpacked, not today or tomorrow, but months from now. Dinner doesn't have to be hot...sandwiches are nice. I cannot be the strength for the family if I myself am weak. Reader be warned, for some day you too may have a near death experience that you may not recover from.